Firsts

Today has me doing a lot of reminiscing. It is the first day of school for most of the kids here in San Antonio and around the country. So many Mommies and Daddies are sending their "little" ones off for their first day of Kindergarten. I remember those days. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that my "babies" were starting their first days in school.

I remember so clearly all those mixed feelings. Pride, in how big they had gotten. Sadness, that they would no longer need me as much. Anticipation, for the new experiences that lay ahead. Hope, that they were ready for the "big, bad world". Such conflict. Such a tangled web of emotions.

Our lives would no longer be our own. We would now be governed by the school calendar. No more sleeping in as long as we want. No more impromptu trips. Routines, schedules, extra curricular activities would now govern our lives.
In the end, as I look back on those days, I've come to realize that all of those feelings, as mixed up as they were, were a good thing! They were all valid. They were a marker of progress and growth.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I miss the smell of a newborn. I miss the quiet, middle of the night nursing. I miss the "Mommy, can I help?" when I'm working in the kitchen. I miss the sleepy faces climbing into my lap first thing in the morning. I miss the feeling of a little body snuggled next to mine during a nap. I miss turning the radio up to an ungodly volume on the way to school while singing the "Cartoon Song". I miss marching band, concert choir, and Tae Kwon Do tournaments.

Today I watched my "baby" climb into his car and drive himself off to his first day of college classes. I didn't feel the sadness or melancholy of that first day of kindergarten. Rather, my heart swelled with pride at this young man that God gave to us nearly 19 years ago. As I looked into his face this morning I was reminded that this is the whole point to life, children and family. To raise a responsible, independent adult who can make his own way in the world. One who can be a light in darkness.

In order for that to happen, you have to get past that first tooth. The first wobbly steps. The first day of kindergarten. The first day of middle school. The first day of high school and... the first day of college.

Life is full of "firsts". I'm looking forward to the next "first".

Friends Are Friends Forever....(cue the music)

Recently I got a wonderful surprise in the mail. A friend that I've known for 20 yrs. (but haven't had a lot of contact with for the last 15)sent me a box filled with a whole collection of vintage linens. It also contained some paper potato bags from Maine. (I come from Maine, which is where Kathy and I met and became friends. Maine is also known for their potatoes,especially in Aroostook County where we were stationed at Loring, AFB together.
When I showed Brian the contents of my box he made the comment; "Well that's a little odd!" To which I replied, "No, Kathy knows me." In Brian's male brain it was weird that someone I really haven't had a lot of contact with over the past 15 yrs. would send me a box, out of the blue, full of things that he saw no value in.
You see, sometimes men just don't get it! What Brian didn't understand is that there are people in your life that while you may not talk to them for a long time, you can pick up the phone, write a note, or send a wonderful surprise box and it's like you've been talking every day! They know you. They know what you love. They know what you hate. They understand who you are and how you think. Those are the people who just "get" you! Those kinds of people don't come around very often. Most people don't invest or take the time to get to know you that well. Those are the friendships that are lasting, wonderful and forever.
I am blessed to have several wonderful people in my life like this. We may not talk often, or we may talk every day. Irregardless they are the people I know I can call at 3am... or not for years, we're still friends.... forever.
To all my "forever friends", and you know who you are, You are loved.

The Reality

We live in a world that embraces make believe. We love fantasy. Movies transport us to worlds we can only imagine. Sometimes the fantasy is so "out there" we can file it away as just that. Fantasy. Other times the story is so real and we find ourselves relating to the characters so closely that our emotions can get caught up in the story. (Thus, the reason girls cry over romantic story lines.)
I've never been a fan of movies where the supernatural was prevalent. Movies about the Occult or anything even close have always really creeped me out. To me, that's just getting to close to flirting with reality, and the reality is that the world of satan and his minions is very,very real.
We caught a glimpse of that on Sunday morning. Those of us who have felt the call of God to reach out to the Arts community decided to go down to the Blue Star Arts District to see what was being offered in the way of spiritual things. We had a fair idea of what we would be walking into however, I think I can say we were totally unprepared for what we found.
About a hundred people, all stages in life gathered at a place called "Celebration Circle". Small children, the elderly... they were all there. Their eyes however all held the same expression. Emptiness. As we approached the doors the sense that we were about to enter enemy territory hit.
I will never forget the face of the man who "greeted" us at the door. He was NOT welcoming. NOT friendly. Almost wore a look of disdain. (I wonder now who I was looking at.)
The smell of incense was powerful. As we entered the room (a rented theater space) we stood far to the back of the room in a corner. Our goal was to just observe. Just as we acclimated to the room the leader instructed the group to turn to the east and begin "praying" to the "fire". (The sun) Soon they were chanting... "We are one".
Ok, so this is where we saw the exit and took it. Quickly. The same empty eyed, unfriendly man who was at the door when we entered opened the door for us as we left.
Guess what? It could have been the scene in a movie. It wasn't. It was REAL LIFE. There are people in downtown San Antonio who every Sunday gather to worship themselves, the earth, anything and everything other than the One True God. These are people who are searching for truth and acceptance. People who need to be introduced to the One that can give them joy, happiness and eternal life. These are the artists, musicians, creative people that the mainstream church has pushed aside. They are looking for love, acceptance and the deeper meaning of life.
I have no doubt we encountered the darkness that morning. I am quite sure the enemy is not too happy with us. After all, he is not omniscient. He didn't know we were coming, but he knows now! I'm guessing he isn't too happy about it either. As dark and scary as it is, it exists. We saw it. THAT is REALITY!

The Freedom Of Being Six!

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend who was relaying a conversation with their six year old to me. Seems during a ride in the car someone was driving in a manner that caused Dad to say, "That person is driving like an idiot!". From the back seat, a little voice piped up and said, "Well Daddy, maybe he IS an idiot!"

I can clearly remember a similar situation when I was a kid. My dad had taken my brothers to a basketball game. (This was back when smoking in public didn't have all of the restrictions and people pretty much smoked wherever they liked.) My brother, who was likely about 6 (although I don't remember his exact age) saw a large woman smoking a cigarette and said, "You know you're going to die!" If I remember correctly he also tried to engage her in conversation about "why she was so fat". You just have to know that my dad wanted to crawl under the bleachers or head for the nearest exit! Sometimes our kids can put us in such embarrassing situations. You gotta love their honesty!

Being a kid can have such freedom! Kids don't have a filter between their thoughts and their mouths. Whatever they think, they usually will say. Somewhere along the way they get that filter installed and realize that sometimes it's better to not say whatever they are thinking.

Do you ever wish that you could just say whatever you and everyone around is thinking? Sometimes there is this big elephant in the room and everyone wants to point it out but no one dares. I have been in many conversations where speaking what I really thought would have been so easy! The only problem with doing so is that it likely would leave me with few people willing to carry on a conversation with me!

Figuring out how to speak the truth in love is the key. I think we often will miss opportunities to speak truth into someone's life or into a particular situation because we can't figure out how to deliver what we have to say in such a way that the receiver will accept it well. Kids can just blurt out whatever they think and everyone will chalk it up to being a child. Have an adult do the same and people get downright offended.

I'm still trying to figure out when it's right to speak the truth in love and when it's just better to keep my mouth shut. Most times I think I probably fail miserably at this.

I think I'd rather be six!

Being Still

How do you feel when things are totally quiet? I mean, not a sound. I LOVE it when that happens. Listening to the silence is wonderful. It is then that I can really "hear".
You may wonder what it is that I "hear". I can hear my own thought process. I can hear God speak. I can hear my response to Him. Our lives are so full of "noise". We have radio, television, iphones, computers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, washing machines, mowers, cars, trains, airplanes. The list is endless. All of those things fill our lives with so much noise! Our brains are constantly processing that noise.
When it is completely silent, nothing to distract us... that is when we can hear clearly. Answers suddenly don't seem so distant. Clarity seems so much easier.

Maybe that's why God told us to "BE STILL... and know that I am God". Maybe that's the reason that it is one of my favorite verses.

Are you sure you know?

I recently read an article written by an Air Force Colonel. In the article he related a story of his days at the Academy and a man who was "just the janitor". Seems a quiet, unassuming man that they took for granted as they passed him each day was far more than what he appeared. The fact that he cleaned up after them, scrubbing their toilets, buffing the floors and emptying the trash led them to think little of him or his work. One day, one of them stumbled onto an article that changed their whole perspective. Turns out, the janitor was a WW2 Hero. Suddenly, the Cadet's attitude changed toward a man they once considered "just a janitor".

You know, I have often struggled with those who seem to think that everyone has to "fit the mold". We often look for the "natural leader". We seek out the "Influencer". We want to socialize with the popular. We look down on the janitor's in life.

When Brian and I were stationed in Germany we would often take day trips to different places. One day, on one of our trips, I stepped into the "water closet" (restroom) It was not uncommon for the public restrooms to have attendants who would go into the stalls and clean after each use. As I waited for my turn, I watched a tiny, stooped, elderly woman clean toilet seats, pick up paper and wipe down sinks. Soon, it was my turn and as I passed this woman I noticed something that would would forever change my life. On her wrist there was a tattoo. Numbers. Identification. It hit me. She was a concentration camp survivor. Tears sprang to my eyes. This woman had undoubtedly endured the most horrendous of circumstances. Something that I would, by God's grace, never have to experience. As I stood in the stall, leaning against the door I cried for her. This woman should be tending a flower garden, drinking tea with her friends, anywhere but wiping down a toilet for me to use. I struggled with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to embrace her. To tell her how sorry I was for what she had had to endure. All because she was a Jew (or Jew sympathizer). Finally, after I pulled myself together I left the stall, washed my hands and made intentional eye contact with her as I left. I touched her arm and said, "thank you". She looked up at me with tired, worn eyes. A flicker of surprise crossed her face. She nodded, dropped her gaze and continued her duties.

Our world loves the popular. We love the limelight. We crave the attention of the masses. Accolades, honors, trophies, certificates, financial success are all indicators of our achievements. We love to be around the people who attain those things while the person who quietly goes about "cleaning the toilets" gets very little attention.

The fact of the matter is that every day we have no idea who we may be overlooking. What talent do we miss? What creativity have we pushed aside? What story have we not heard? What have we erroneously assumed?

Even worse is the way we often treat and talk about those ones that are "different". We cast wary glances at the teen who dresses differently. We whisper about the socially backward young adult who just doesn't seem to fit in. We avoid the shy and withdrawn because they just aren't fun. If you knew that that person you avoid has the potential to be a musical genius would you still avoid them? Why?

The CREATOR of the universe came to earth as a humble carpenter's son, was born in a shack, grew up poor and was shunned by most. The world did not recognize who He was. Yet, that didn't change the fact that He WAS GOD.

Are you sure you know who you are overlooking? Are you sure you know what potential and hidden talent you may be writing off just because they don't look, dress or act like you? Are you sure you haven't met the next Mozart, Michael Angelo, Elisabeth Barrett Browning, Steve Wozniack, Pablo Piccaso or Steven Spielberg? Are you sure you wouldn't ignore, avoid or make fun of The Creator if He were to walk among us today? Are you sure?


Are you sure you know?

Ponds are a nasty business!

Boy am I glad that pond plants only have to be divided and re-potted every couple of years! THAT was a nasty mess! Before I started I called a friend who has a pond and asked if she'd like some new plants. She said she would and that she'd come by to pick them up later in the day. You see, it would have killed me to have to throw away plants I couldn't use! I also love the idea of passing on some plants to my friend's gardens.
I've been putting this chore off for a couple of months now because I knew it would be a big mess and not one I was looking forward to. The first group I tackled were the pond Iris. They've been in the corner of my pond for more than 2 yrs. The rhizomes had begun to grow over the edges of the container and roots were entangled in the little drainage holes of the planting container. It was a mess trying to getting that little (BIG) bugger out of its pot! I divided the plant up and ended up with quite a few extras for my friend.
Next was the BIG one! Bog Bamboo. This plant has given me fits for several weeks now as it has gotten so large that every time the wind blows it topples over. (These plants are in specialized containers and sit on the elevated ledges of the pond) I knew this one was going to be a pain and so went directly for the butcher knife! The roots from the bamboo had entangled themselves in the cords for the fountains, pumps etc. and unfortunately made a great hiding place for my fish. They also were a fabulous natural filter. They were however, creating quite a mess and so had to go.
I divided this monstrosity into 3 huge sections. I only needed one, so Jeannie got the other two as her pond is twice as big as mine. All in all it took over 3 hours to get this nasty chore accomplished. The filtering system we have is fantastic so my water quickly cleared up after all of the disturbance and my Shebunkins (fish) are happily enjoying their habitat albeit minus their hiding place. I have no doubt that those bamboo roots will come back quick enough.
You know, as I was busy digging my hands into the pond slime and dirt to loosen the roots from the containers it occurred to me that my chore was a great metaphor for life.
The leaves on the pond iris leaves had begun to turn a yellow color. They were no longer getting the nutrients they needed from the soil. In order for them to get healthy again they had to be torn from their container, cut apart and re-potted in a new container with fresh clean soil with plenty of room for their roots and new growth.
Sometimes our lives get so full of things we get accustomed to. We get settled. Our roots get deeply planted and become entangled with whatever surrounds us. The problem is, our lives get so compacted, so entangled with the "everyday" that there is no room for growth. No new friends, no new hobbies, no new learning experiences. We start to get "yellow". While a healthy root system is a must, it is essential that we provide room for new growth. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to clean the "dirt" and "slime" from our lives. Sometimes it can be a nasty mess but it is really important for our health spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
That's why I love gardening. It gives me time to think. Time to reflect. Time to ponder the complexities of life. It also provides great lessons for life.
I think I'll go sit out by my newly planted pond and watch the "Shebunkins" while the sun sets and thank God for the simple things that teach such great lessons.